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Focus On Who You Were Made To Be
It was the kind of day that highlighted all of the places where I fell short.
A busy weekend led to a messy home that was short on groceries, simply because I didn’t have the time to refill my cabinets. I just finished navigating a week that contained a CT scan for my husband, a surgery for my son, and deadlines at work. I couldn’t seem to stay asleep, and when I did sleep, my slumber was full of strange anxiety dreams.
It was that kind of week.
When I woke up and went to pour my first cup of coffee, my carafe felt too light-- I forgot to put in water when I programmed the coffee pot the night before. I sighed, told myself this was NOT how the entire day was going to be, began the brewing cycle, and settled down to have a few minutes with my journal and my Bible.
The house was blissfully quiet.
No one was awake.
I could read, and hear my own voice.
This doesn’t happen often, with three kids in the house.
As I listened to the peace, my mind was able to settle down. I pondered all the overwhelming emotions of the week, and the words came to my mind, “There are holes.”
Holes … what does that mean?
Holes in me?
Holes in my family?
Holes at work?
"Yes." I felt an affirming answer to all of these. They each had holes.
The unexpected thing was that this revelation didn’t feel bad, or like some great shortcoming was being revealed to me...it was simply a matter of fact. Because we aren’t meant to be whole.
There are holes in me--places where I fall short, and things I don’t excel at, but there is another portion of me that is strong, and good, and able. I am a writer and an editor, who also has solid accounting and business skills. I am a friend, and a loving mom, and a listening wife. Though I try, I am not the best housekeeper, or inspired cook, or dedicated dieter.
I’ve spent a lot of time lately focusing on my holes, and what I’m not--instead of what I am.
The truth is that we all have holes, and that’s part of God’s design. We’re like puzzle pieces, designed to fit together--what’s whole in me complements what’s missing in you, and vice versa. We need each other to be complete, and that’s not only okay, it's how we were made!
This goes against my independent nature, and feels hard for me to accept. I like to do things, fully, my way. I like to be in control. I like to be competent, and able, and excellent at all things, and I easily grow frustrated because I’m not.
But truly, things work out better when my best skills combine with yours, creating something transcendent and so much bigger and better than I could muster on my own.
Experience tells me this is true. When we ran a small business, each person held key responsibilities, and they also had things they did not do. I never scanned a piece of film in my life, but one of our staff members scanned tens (maybe hundreds) of thousands of images. He never did the books, nor the website, nor the promotional emails, nor payroll...but I did...
My last job was at a ministry that required skills ranging from truck drivers, to fundraisers, to accountants, to social workers, to sales clerks--we each had specific skills, and couldn’t function as a whole without each one's contribution.
It’s also incredibly apparent in my current job, working at a church. Every person has a lane, and it’s as wide and busy as a Los Angeles freeway at rush-hour. There are on-ramps and off-ramps, and we all need to navigate our own lanes carefully and diligently to complete each project or event. By doing what we each do well, we come alongside each other, honoring God and building His Kingdom, together.
Each of us on our own would be like a tiny cricket chirping in the night. All of us together create a resonant harmony that transcends what's possible individually.
So, yes, we have holes. Every one of us. But together, when we live out all that we are (instead of focusing on what we’re not), we are whole.
God doesn’t expect us to be everything, He just wants us to be diligently pursuing the skills He gave us, and use them for His glory, growing and stretching into the talents and skills that bring life.
What holes in yourself have you been staring at too long?
Where are you strong and capable, alive and engaged?
Lets change our thoughts to focus on what we are, instead of what we’re not, as we each embrace what God made us to be.
Romans 12: 4-5 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.