Giving Up Doubt

At its best, doubt is a distraction and a means of procrastination. At its worst, doubt kills faith.

I don’t want to be someone who speaks doubt into another person’s life.

Photography and creative pursuits have been a part of Rich’s and my life since we met in high school. We’re always talking about fresh ideas, possible projects, potential purchases, intriguing trips, and new dreams. While these are all exciting topics, sometimes it’s tiring. It can be hard to get excited about a new idea that will cost time, money, and effort—and often far more of all three than we anticipate. Pursuing dreams comes with a cost.

I found myself in that tired, discouraged space several years ago as were driving to a restaurant. Our conversation turned to a new idea he wanted to pursue. I don’t remember the scope of the project he was proposing that day, but I do remember I had a bad attitude. I was tired. We have three kids. I work full time. All I wanted to do was go out to eat with my husband, and here he was with more ideas about photography. Rich always has ideas. In fact, one of the ways I knew he was really sick when he had cancer was the ideas stopped coming. That was a terrifying season.

As we drove to the restaurant, I found myself telling him all the reasons I was sick of owning a business, being creative, and continually innovating, growing, and learning. I made it my job to provide all the possible ways this new project and the proposed course of action could go wrong. “We need to consider all the variables,” I said. “If we’re going to spend time on this, it needs to succeed.”

As I listed the potential roadblocks and issues, I saw enthusiasm shrink from his face. Instead of dreaming, he shifted to selling me on his dream, as if my buy-in was the key between success and abject failure. As if I held that much power…

But what if I did?

What if my reaction was the pivot point that either spurred him on, or caused him to freeze?

What if my doubt stopped him from pursuing a dream, which could lead to another dream, which could lead to another amazing, unanticipated path?

Why did I feel like my job was to plant doubt? So often I felt the need to be an anchor of reality, but what if that actually made me a noose of negativity? How much extra work and grief was I creating by planting these landmines of doubt? It’s like he planted a seed and showed me the tiny shoot that began to grow. Instead of fertilizing it, I placed toxic chemicals over it and thought, “If the dream can grow past that, I guess it’s meant to survive.”

As I continued questioning him, I heard a quiet voice. “Does he talk this way to you?”

“No.”

“What would he say to you if you wanted to do a new project?”

“He’d get excited and help me try to figure out how to do it.”

“What happens when he offers a flicker of doubt about something you believe is a really good idea?”

“I get angry and tell him why he’s wrong. I’m usually not very nice.”

“What would you do if he reacted the way you’re reacting to him right now?”

Well, there you go. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It’s interesting how a few seconds on a drive can change your perspective. From that moment on, I decided I wanted to become a person who planted encouragement—not doubt. While it’s okay to communicate concerns and possible challenges (and my own weariness)—I can do that in a way that BUILDS upon the idea instead of systematically tearing it down.

Here’s the crazy thing: Once I began to recognize my doubt, it became clear how much it permeated my life. I doubted relationships. I doubted the future. I doubted little decisions. I doubted major decisions. I doubted my kids’ decisions. I doubted decisions I make about my kids. I doubted decisions at work. I doubted God when He led me in a new direction. I doubted God when He didn’t seem to be leading me anywhere. Any decision or uncertainty I seemed to confront, my initial reaction was doubt.

I realized I equated doubting with “being responsible.” I was weighing all the options, considering all the variables, and going forward with both eyes open. But really, I was allowing worry and fear to take the wind out of my sails and the sails of those around me. Instead of seeking God, I was listing all the earthly reasons why I had permission to stay still and not move forward.

James 1: 6 to 8 says, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”

At its best, doubt is a distraction and a means of procrastination.

At its worst, doubt kills faith.

I’ve found the anecdote to doubt is trust.

Interestingly, the more we trust God, the more willing we are to step forward in faith. Our job is to diligently work at whatever God gives us to do, and the end result—its success or failure—is up to God.

So, instead of casting doubt, I’ve begun to ask, “Do you feel God’s peace when you think about this decision? Does it honor Him? If you didn’t move forward, would you feel like you were ignoring what you were supposed to do?” If the answer to these questions is “yes,” there is no room to doubt. Instead, there is every reason to boldly move forward into God’s perfect plan.